Big cock, big problems?
Recently, a gay man brought up this question: do big cocks get fully hard?
Whether we like it or not—size matters—and a lot of people are curious about the performance of guys with big, girthy cocks, especially those packing 9 inches or more. One question that often comes up in forums and conversations is the one aforementioned above.
A gay man asked online, “I’m always curious to know whether guys with big girthy cocks (like 9”+) have a difficult time getting fully hard or staying hard. Seems like a lot of blood to move and hold in place.” The curiosity is real, and so are the responses from gay and bisexual men who’ve had personal experiences with this topic.
Let’s dive into some of the most popular answers shared by gay and bisexual men online:
1. The struggle with size and hardness
One commenter shared his experience of feeling embarrassed by his above-average size, which doesn’t get as hard as expected. He explained, “Mine is slightly above average, and doesn’t get rock hard. It’s embarrassing because guys see the size, and assume I’m semi-hard and get all excited (because it’s girthy and long-ish but not so big that it’s going to pulverize their intestines), they are ALWAYS disappointed when it turns out that’s as hard as it gets. It’s been a source of embarrassment and shame for me a lot. I SO want to top, but it just doesn’t get hard enough.”
This response highlights the fact that for some men, having a larger cock doesn’t always translate to better performance. In fact, it can lead to a sense of disappointment and insecurity, especially when partners have expectations based on size alone.
2. Soft as a selling point
Another user mentioned that some guys actually promote a softer, larger cock as a positive. “I saw a guy selling this as a positive, actually. He says it is soft so it doesn’t hurt.”
For certain partners, a slightly softer, bigger cock might be more comfortable, allowing for a more pleasurable experience without too much pain.
3. The softness phenomenon
A third contributor shared their thoughts on the topic, drawing from personal experiences. “From my experience, guys with huge cocks usually don’t get fully hard, and honestly, their cock is a little soft… like, you hold and feel like… it’s not HARD if it makes any sense.”
This comment reflects a common observation that larger cocks don’t always reach the same level of hardness that smaller ones might. This softer feel can sometimes create a different, but still pleasurable, sensation.
4. The Twitter Effect
One commenter noted a trend observed on social media, especially in porn videos: “Seen a few videos on Twitter of guys with big dicks fucking someone and as they fuck, they pull it out and it looks flaccid. When they try to stick it back in, it looks (by the way they grab their dick) that they’re soft and not really hard.”
This insight gives a glimpse into the reality of what happens behind the camera, further showing that size and hardness don’t always go hand-in-hand.
5. “Field Research” says otherwise
Not everyone agrees that big cocks struggle with hardness. Another commenter confidently declared, “My field research concludes they do get fully hard, often with great ease.”
His experiences suggest that many big cocks can indeed become rock hard, debunking the idea that larger sizes have more difficulty achieving full erection.
6. It’s an individual experience
One thoughtful response offered a balanced perspective:
“Totally individual. I’ve seen a really big dick that got soooo hard, but also other big dicks that don’t get that hard.”
This response underscores that, just like smaller cocks, every big cock is unique, and individual factors such as blood flow, genetics, and health can influence hardness.
7. The steel spike
Finally, one commenter shared a particularly intense experience with a larger partner:
“I had sex with a guy who was 10.5 inches and hard as a steel spike. It was actually easier to get fucked than to suck it. 100 percent would do it again.”
Clearly, for some men, bigger sizes don’t hinder the ability to achieve full hardness—and can even enhance the overall experience.